I'd arrived . . .

At Bali to do my yoga retreat. What a wonderful idea. Just brilliant.

Bali is totally different from the last time I was here. I can't even remember the hotel I was in . Perhaps it doesn't exist anymore.

I attended a movement mediation class which about dancing the five rhythms with you eyes closed. It's an awesome experience. Like your body and spirit feel the beat and express yourself. It a totally different sensation than social dancing for two major points. You're dancing with your eyes closed and moving to 5 different rhythms which has escaped me. From what I remember-- flowing, sacatto and ending in stillness.

Oh my body ached from stiffness because I was letting go. I was aware of all the cracking, and creaking this tired body was experiencing. I can understand now that feeling of a real dancer, especially the modern dancers, why their music is so rhythmical and focused on percussion. Why the sudden twists and turns, the sudden flight of the body, the sudden stomp of the heel. I can understand how it can be very erotic, very exotic, very sensual as well as very sexual.

At times when I really go into the flow, I can see myself as a Martha Graham dancer or an Alvin Ailey dancer. And as I child I did love dance. I see my self as the Balinese dancer. But, alas, I keep on catching myself and sensing that I really am bogged down with structure.

I liked ballet because you are told what to do. I liked karate, because the kata has a structure. I liked structure, because when I catch myself stuck, I realized that I keep on doing the same movements.

The best part of the whole experience, seriously, is the 15 minutes meditation at the end. It was the best stillness I'd experienced. I was in corpse pose, feeling my breathing, being aware of my breathes and having the sensation of floating. I saw myself in a space suit, lying in a space pod and just floating. I know I wasn't asleep because even though I had the floating sensation, I was so grounded.

I am going back to the hotel now. It's been a long day with the travelling and the meditation class. I just wish there is a place like this in Bangkok. A place like this where the air is cleaner, more natural setting, eating healthy food, yet a little bit more modern.

Oh, did I tell you, my hotel is a bungalow in the middle of the rice paddy!

Namaste and hatsa mana.

Ms Mak